Church HR, Staffing & Child Safety

Reference Checks for Church Volunteers: A Script That Works

Published 2026-10-07 · Church HR, Staffing & Child Safety

Short answer: call every reference by phone, ask the same questions in the same order for every applicant, and write down what you were told. Open with easy factual questions, move to how the person handles children and correction, and finish with the two that do the most work: *"Would you place this person with children in your own church?"* and *"Is there anything you think I should know that I haven't asked about?"* Then note the answers, the date, and who made the call.

The forms come back. Three names, three phone numbers, and a week where nobody has ten spare minutes. So the applications go in the file, the references never get called, and the church tells itself the background check covered it.

It didn't. A background check finds what someone was convicted of, and it comes with paperwork of its own when a screening company compiles it, including disclosure, written authorization and a notice step before anyone is turned away because of a report (FTC, Background Checks: What Employers Need to Know). A reference call finds something else entirely: what people noticed, the pattern that never became a case, the reason someone quietly stopped being asked to help. There's no substitute for it. The volunteer reference check church leaders skip most is the one that would have told them the most.

The calls aren't as awkward as you expect, either. Most of the discomfort comes from not knowing what to say, which a script fixes.

Why phone, and not email

Email references are easy to collect and nearly worthless.

People write carefully. They won't put hesitation in writing, and hesitation is most of what you're listening for. On a phone call you hear the pause before "yes", the answer that changes shape halfway through, the "well, she's great with the little ones" that's doing quiet work.

You're not conducting an interrogation. You're giving a person the chance to tell you something they'd never type.

Send the email if you must, to schedule the call. Then make the call.

Before you dial

Three things, each of which takes a minute.

Check the authorization. The application should already carry a signed permission to contact references and previous organizations. If yours doesn't, that's the first fix. The volunteer application is where that authorization belongs.

Check the reference is usable. Not a family member. Not someone who has known them four months. At least one from a ministry or organizational setting rather than only personal friends. If the list doesn't meet the standard, go back to the applicant before you spend the calls.

Have the form in front of you. Same questions, same order, written down. Consistency is the whole point: it's what makes your process a process rather than a set of impressions.

The script

Read it as a conversation, not a checklist read aloud. But do ask all of it.

Open. Thirty seconds.

"Hi, this is [name] from [church]. [Applicant] has applied to serve in our children's ministry and listed you as a reference. Do you have about ten minutes? Everything you tell me stays with the two or three people who make this decision."

1. How do you know them, and for how long?

You're confirming the relationship the application claimed, and its length. A reference who has known someone eight months is telling you something different from one who has known them nine years.

2. In what settings have you seen them with children or young people?

If the answer is "I haven't," note it. That reference can still speak to character, but it can't speak to the thing you most need.

3. How would you describe the way they relate to children?

Open, and deliberately so. Listen for whether the answer is about the children or about the applicant. "The kids adore him" is a different answer from "he's patient, and he's good at noticing the quiet one."

4. How do they handle a child who is difficult, or a situation that gets tense?

The most useful question on the list. Patience under friction is what children's ministry actually requires, and people answer this one concretely.

5. How do they respond to correction or supervision?

You're asking whether the person accepts a rule they didn't write. A volunteer who resists supervision is a supervision problem regardless of anything else.

6. Are they a rule-follower or a rule-bender?

Ask it in exactly those words. It gives people permission to be honest about something they'd otherwise soften, and the answer is directly relevant: child safety systems work through small, boring rules being followed by everyone.

7. Have you observed anything that concerned you about their behavior around children or young people?

Ask plainly. Then stop talking. The silence after this question is where the answer lives, so don't fill it.

8. Would you place this person with children in your own church?

The first of the two that matter. It moves the reference from describing to deciding, and "yes, absolutely" sounds different from "I think so."

9. Is there anything you think I should know that I haven't asked about?

The second. It catches everything your form didn't anticipate. Ask it last, ask it once, and wait.

Close.

"That's everything. Thank you. This genuinely helps us look after the children well."

Write it down while you remember it

Immediately after the call, on the same form:

• Date, time, who called.
• Reference name, relationship, how long they've known the applicant.
• A brief answer under each question, a phrase rather than a transcript.
• Anything that gave you pause, in the words used.
• Your overall read: proceed, proceed with a note, or hold for review.

Two reasons this matters. The first is decision quality. Three sets of notes read together tell you things no single call did. The second is ordinary evidence: the church asked, and here's what it was told.

File it with the application, access-controlled, with the same retention rule as the rest of the screening file.

How to read what you hear

Hesitation is data. A pause before "yes" is worth a follow-up: "It sounded like you were weighing that. Is there something behind it?" Ask gently and let the answer come.

Vagueness after specificity. A reference who has been concrete for six questions and turns general on the seventh has just told you something.

"You should talk to someone else about that." Always follow it up. Ask who, and why.

A reference who won't engage. Someone who declines to answer, or gives one-word replies throughout, isn't a neutral result. Note it and weigh it.

Unqualified enthusiasm from a friend of two years. Not a red flag, but not much of a green one either. Weigh references by what they've actually observed.

Nothing here is a verdict. A reference call produces information for a decision your written standard governs. It doesn't make the decision for you.

How churches get this wrong

Not calling at all. Far and away the most common failure, and the easiest to fix.

Calling one of three. The third reference is often the one who isn't a close friend, which makes it the one worth the most.

Different questions for different people. Then you have impressions rather than a process, and no way to compare. Uneven questioning is also where a fairness complaint starts, and the federal summary of what employers may not do is the plainest guide to why (EEOC, Pre-Employment Inquiries). A church keeps real latitude to apply religious criteria to religious roles, and that latitude doesn't stretch to treating applicants inconsistently on everything else (EEOC, Religious discrimination).

Only calling references who are church members. Comfortable, and it narrows the picture to people already inside the same circle.

Keeping no notes. A call you can't describe six months later didn't happen, as far as your file is concerned.

Letting someone start before the calls are done. The waiting period exists partly so the calls have time to happen. See the six-month rule for how the layers fit together.

Having the applicant's friend make the calls. Assign reference calls to someone without a personal stake, and never to the person who recruited the applicant.

Common questions

How many references should we call?

Three for anyone serving with minors, and call all three. Two may be reasonable for roles with no access to children, if your policy says so in writing and you apply it consistently.

What if a reference doesn't call back?

Try twice, at different times of day, then ask the applicant for an alternative. Don't let an unreachable reference quietly become a completed step. Note the attempts on the form.

Can we ask a previous church whether the person was ever asked to stop serving?

Yes, and you should, using the authorization the applicant already signed. Some organizations will only confirm dates as a matter of policy. Note that answer too; a refusal to say more isn't itself adverse information, but it's part of the picture.

What if the reference tells us something serious?

Stop the placement process. Don't confront the applicant with it in the moment, and don't decide alone. Take it to the small group your policy names, apply your written standard, and if what you heard involves a minor, get advice from a licensed attorney before you do anything else. If it suggests a child may currently be at risk, contact law enforcement or your state's child protective agency first. That call is never delayed by an internal process. What counts as abuse or neglect, and who is required to report it, is defined in state statute and differs from state to state (Child Welfare Information Gateway, Definitions of Child Abuse and Neglect), so whoever makes the calls should know your state's answer before a call goes sideways.

Do we re-check references for long-serving volunteers?

References are a placement step, not a recurring one. What recurs is re-screening: background checks on a cycle, refreshed acknowledgements, and current training.

Who should make the calls?

One or two trained people, consistently. It keeps the questions uniform, builds an ear for the answers, and keeps the notes in one hand.

Ten minutes, three calls, one form

That's the entire cost. Thirty minutes per volunteer, once, using the same script every time.

Set it as a rule that nobody starts serving with children until the calls are made and the notes are filed. It's the cheapest screening layer you have and the one most likely to surface what nothing else would.

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*Faith Docs provides self-help document templates, not legal advice. We are not a law firm. For representation, consult a licensed attorney.*